


Something To Live For

by KyberChronicles



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyberChronicles/pseuds/KyberChronicles
Summary: The capture of Han Solo gives Jyn a lot to think about.





	Something To Live For

**Author's Note:**

> For rebelcaptainprompts on Tumblr, "Temptation" prompt, though it doesn't really fit it quite well. Whoops.

Jyn couldn’t sleep.

 

The ship was quiet, save for the settling noises that she had grown used to over the few months she had spent aboard the U-wing.  But the silence made her thoughts echo even louder in her mind.  Frustrated, she sat up, punched her pillow into a different shape, and flopped back down again.  

 

The news of Captain Solo’s capture had come in a few hours earlier, through an encrypted message Cassian had received from High Command.  

 

Jyn had liked the former smuggler.  They had shared a few drinks together in the makeshift, technically-unapproved-but-overlooked-anyway cantina on Hoth.  She remembered his hand on her shoulder, holding her down when some drunken recruits started to give Bodhi a hard time.  He had defused the situation quickly, buying them all another round of drinks and warmly clapping the pilot on the back to reassure him.  

 

That was probably the only thing that kept her from decking him when he started referring to Cassian as her “boyfriend”, though she had still come awfully close to doing so.

 

“He’s  _ not _ my boyfriend,” she would growl.

 

“Yeah? Could’ve fooled me,” Han would respond, smirking and taking another pull of his drink.  She’d then ultimately deflect with a mention of the princess, and all he would do was smile wider and say something about Leia being in denial.

 

She hadn’t believed him until the night that he and Skywalker didn’t come back to base.  And while Leia’s behavior could’ve been contributed to Luke, as some seemed to think, Jyn was the one who had sat down next to the princess in the frigid hangar during the early morning hours, silently thrusting a flask in front of her.  She was far too familiar with long, restless nights, waiting for someone to come back home.  Perhaps that was the reason Leia opened up to her back then.

 

“There are moments when I just want to stop fighting it,” Leia had said, her voice quiet but strong.  “But this is why we don’t, isn’t it?”

 

The “we” in her question had made Jyn flinch.  She had stayed silent for a long time.

 

“This is why we don’t,” she had finally agreed.

 

“Do you think it’s worth it?” Leia had asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Jyn had replied, honestly.

 

A few days later, when the base came under attack, Jyn had run into Han and Leia in one of the collapsing corridors while desperately searching for Cassian, and that’s when Captain Solo had said what would probably be his last words to her, with one hand gripping her bicep.  

 

“Get your boyfriend out of here, kid.  And for kriff’s sake, give him something to live for,  _ other _ than the Rebellion, would ya?”

 

She remembered his eyes flicking over to the princess as he said it.

 

Jyn had found Cassian in the control room, shouting orders into a comm, covered in snow from the crumbling ceiling.  They had been one of the last ones to depart the base on their old, battle-worn ship before it was completely overtaken.

 

The defeat had been pretty rough on everyone.  The Rebellion was forced to spread out across the galaxy, unable to find a secure or large enough base with the Empire hunting them down.  Bodhi had gone with the fleet, obviously, but Jyn and Cassian got updates from him regularly.  The two of them flew from mission to mission over the next few months, but their relationship became oddly strained.  They’d go days without talking if one felt the other had been a bit too reckless.  Injuries meant scoldings that sometimes escalated into arguments.  They angrily called each other out on a lack of sleeping or eating.  Jyn couldn’t explain it, but all of it felt so  _ personal _ , as if he somehow owed her better than simply deciding not to take care of himself.  But she knew he didn’t owe her anything.

 

_ “Give him something to live for.” _

 

She thought, suddenly, of Leia.  Had the princess given in to her feelings before Han got captured?  And if so, did she regret it, or did she think it was worth it in the end?  

 

And then the thought that she had been unknowingly avoiding all day hit her like a loaded freighter: What if something happened to Cassian?  What if  _ he _ had been the one that got captured? Would she have her own regrets?

 

Jyn was off of her bunk, on her feet, and headed towards the cockpit before she really knew what was happening.  

 

Cassian had taken the night shift, but there was little point.  They were waiting for orders from High Command, and not doing much other than drifting through the Outer Rim until then.  Still, she could read exhaustion in the slouch of his shoulders as she came up behind him.  He sat in the pilot’s seat, reading from a data pad.  His face was cast in a bluish-white glow, and Jyn found it hard to look away for a moment.  

 

“I don’t want you to die,” she blurted out, suddenly.  

 

Her ears burned as Cassian slowly turned towards her, his eyebrows raised.

 

“I’m… glad?” he replied slowly.  Amusement flickered through his eyes.

 

Jyn huffed and tried again.

 

“No, I mean… I don’t want you to  _ want _ to die,” she told him.  Then she winced.

 

Cassian stared at her.

 

“I don’t want to die, Jyn,” he said, studying her carefully.  She shook her head, sighing.

 

“I”m not saying it right,” she mumbled.  She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, looking down at her feet.  She wasn’t any good at this, putting her thoughts into words.  But she could see the distance stretching out between them, and it scared her.  It scared her far more than the possibility of losing him.  So she took another deep breath.

 

“Did you know that Captain Solo called you my ‘boyfriend’?” she asked, her voice quieter than usual.

 

There was a long pause.

 

“Did he?” Cassian said, his voice sounding oddly strangled. But she refused to look at him, simply nodding.

 

“The last thing he said to me, back on Hoth, was that I should give you ‘something to live for’, outside of the Rebellion,” she told him. 

 

The silence she received in return was deafening.  She swallowed and forced herself to keep going.

 

“I’m not naive, Cassian.  There’s a good chance we won’t survive this war.  The cause we’re fighting for is worth that risk.  So I won’t ask you to think about what happens if we do survive, or if we win, because we probably won’t see either of those things happen.”

 

She chanced a glance over at him.  His stare burned into her like blaster fire, and her breath caught in her throat.  There was no going back now.

 

“But I wanted you to know, in case… in case something happened, to either of us, that you do have something more than just the rebellion.  You  _ are _ something more.  To me,” she stammered, unable to look away from him.  

 

Slowly, he stood up, never once taking his eyes off of her.  Jyn could feel her heart pounding frantically against her ribs as he approached, knowing that they were both teetering on the edge of a cliff.

 

And then Cassian pushed them both off of it, cradling her head gently in his hands and pressing his lips to hers like they had always belonged there.  His fingers curled into the hair at the base of her neck, while hers grasped the front of his shirt, holding on for her life.

 

He slowly pulled away to touch his forehead to hers, both of them breathless.  

 

“C-could… could you… maybe…  _ also _ live... for that?” Jyn panted, flushing at the effect of merely one kiss from him.

 

“I think I could make that work,” Cassian breathed.  Then he bent down and kissed her again.

 


End file.
